Thanks to Seth Apter for drawing the art-blog community closer together - again!! He is so amazingly generous; blog world is definitely a better place because of Seth and all his efforts. Here is one of my favorite 'oldies'!
deadlines. all the years I worked at our agency we lived by them. we had drop deadlines too. nice language. get it done or drop dead? think about or do little else until the deadline arrives and the project, thing, action is complete and one can resume living. It has been nearly five years since I've lived - and died more than a few times - in that world. other than paying bills on time, washing socks when everyone starts yelling, and stocking the fridge with the basics, I don't have deadlines. doctor's appointments don't count because you all know that passing the hours in a waiting room is enough to kill anyone. I am fairly self-propelled, albeit somewhat tardy on occasion; my daughter says we put the 'pro' in procrastination. call me human.
today I had a deadline. I have been working on a journal project that has elicited joy, inspiration, new techniques and a creative high beyond my wildest imagination. so it didn't feel very dead. I delivered the 8 freshly varnished books to the gallery where the woman ordered them back in October. I remember my jaw dropped when Frankie told me how she'd priced them... more than I'd ever think of charging, though I think it's natural to undervalue our work, especially early in the game. today she said they were worth every penny, beautiful, each one entirely unique in concept, color, execution. my costs were negligible, but then again, can you put a price on the creative process, the energy and love, attention to detail?
I found out how much love I'd expended when I left them spread on the counter and got in my car to drive back home. It was all so bizarre, how could I possibly feel sad, wistful, empty even?? I called my friend Debbie, who has been making her living as an artist for more than 20 years. She laughed and said she still goes through it, the not-quite-ready-to part with it, kind of like giving away a piece of yourself. How silly?! She said it was a good sign, that I had accomplished my goal. that more than art, each piece is a work of love going out into the universe.
My good friend and professional photographer, Jeff Rogers, photographed the journals in his studio the other day - I'll post them as soon as he gets around to burning the images on a disk. Hmmm, maybe I should have given him a deadline.