Tuesday, November 2, 2010
It is inevitable... autumn paints fiery colors across the trees, winds shift and chill, light disappears early in the evening. Yet each year it feels like the first, as does every other change of season. I suppose for those of us who do not transition easily, this isn't a negative, as it allows a fresh eye, open to seeing new detail in well-familiar sights.
Other transitions are not quite so simple. From fairy princess to teenager, cute little skeleton to rock band drummer... OK, they did dress for Halloween, but aside from the costume, the shifts are seismic and not always pleasant. Does anyone tell a soon-to-be, or new mother that her angel baby will morph into a stranger along about age 13 or so? That so many conversations escalate into arguments... that my 'style' will soon be ridiculous? I suppose the magazine articles were all there, I just didn't read them.
Not much for Woman's Day or Good Housekeeping, I went along my merry, blissfully ignorant way in total denial. Yes, separation is a good thing, the transfer of responsibility, boundaries, all the buzzwords are quite apropos; however, so are stab wounds to the heart, an unexplainable sadness, unshed tears. My husband is counting the days, well years, until our nest is vacant. I, on the other hand, am in no particular hurry.
I am adjusting to the changes and learning to respect space while maintaining order, dishing out what seem like the final lessons and advice that will come from me rather than peers. Though every day is a challenge, most all remind me of why I became a mother. I love every ounce of both of my teens and it's unconditional... as I tell them, no matter what! They are talented, creative, intelligent and a lot of fun. And most of the time I'm still cool:)
I hope this isn't taken as a 'downer' but a bittersweet observation on a life season...