Patti Edmon Altered Attic: I Wonder

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I Wonder



This is the last piece, I think, in my latest collage series. I am rather attached to these colors though, so I'm sure I'll find other ways to use this palette. Speaking of other, I planned to title this piece "Hope." Then I started thinking - usually my first mistake:) - about the article I'd read on Rat Race Trap about shifting from hoping to wondering, and how it helps avoid disappointment.
It's a good read; author Stephen Mills talks about how, when what we hope for doesn't happen, our hopes are dashed. His intent certainly isn't to promote pessimism. Far from it; he cites Susan Jeffers' book, Embracing Uncertainty, and her premise that, since we have little - or no - control over the future of our art, our jobs, our children, that if we merely wonder, there is no outcome attached to those hopes. It removes the pressure from the future. Same goes for wishing and wanting.
I find that idea so appealing... instead of hoping that my guardian angel is watching over me, I can simply wonder where she hovers; I don't have to hope that my daughter, a naturally talented, skilled ballerina will decide that she doesn't want to quit after 8 years of commitment. I wonder, instead, if she'll rediscover her passion, or find a new outlet for her creative expression.
Instead of hoping that you will like this collage, or find something about it to relate to, I wonder if you will appreciate it and the fact that I still struggle so to find my own authentic voice that is screaming rather loudly, but packed under so much resistance that it sounds like a foreign language. I wonder if all the years I spent running a business have clouded my vision for this part of the journey, slowed by this darned illness that sets my pace at half-speed. As an aside, if it weren't for this illness I doubt I'd be making art, or having such delightful, meaningful relationships with so many incredible people (you) in blog-land. But I do wonder if I'll discover a way to put my talents to use in a way that benefits others... kind of like a career.
Now I sound like I'm doubting Mills' approach, but I'm not. I may just read Jeffers' book and use it as a too to supplement the incredible coaching class I'm immersed in, led by Patti Digh, author of Life is a Verb, and David Robinson, visual artist and organizational innovator (coach:). Those two are another story.
And I hope, wonder rather, if you'll read further and find it helpful. I just don't think that, for me anyway, it's so easy, like flipping a switch. It's going to take a lot of practice. For now, my head can wonder but my heart still hopes.

14 comments:

Lucy said...

Interesting prospect, to turn our wants and hopes into wonders. I think a whole lot of time is spent chasing after things we can't control instead of focusing on that which is within our realm of power. I agree, it will take a lot of practice but certainly it is worth trying.

La Dolce Vita said...

hi Patti...having troube getting this to post...will try again! love your piece and love the post!
II agree! to me hope is wanting something to happen but feeling that it probably won't!
it does take practice, but now I think ...wouldnt it be wonderful if this ---happens and now it usually does!

Poetic Artist said...

Hi Patti
Hope you are having good days.
I enjoyed this post and If we could do this..I will try..I will have to look this book up.
Thanks and have a blessed weekend.
Katelen

quiltchick said...

Yet another stunning piece of work Patti! A very thought provoking blog.

katie jane said...

This is a very thought provoking post. I have felt much the way you do at times, and I tend to hope waaay to much. I often think about how I could avoid disappointment if only I would stop hoping for so much change. Why do we always want things to be different than they are? Why can't people ever be satisfied with life as it is? I will research these authors you have offered and see what they have to say on this subject.

Teresa Silverthorn said...

I love your work. Especially the colors that you use in your artistry. Always enjoy your new creations, thank you so much for sharing them.

Seth said...

I also love the colors in this piece. So striking, almost glowing!!

Debrina said...

OK. So I've got to say this, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. This has been the best blog posting I have read, EVER! You are such an intelligent, talented, wise, delicious and inspiring women that I want to give YOU an award (except I'm not an award girl). So instead I want to feature you on my blog. I love everything about this post - from the artwork to the thought provoking prose. I just want to cut and paste it into my own blog posting so I can look at it and read it forever.

Contessa Kris said...

Patti,
Thanks for stopping by my blog. How did you know my fav candy is licorice? Unfortunately licorice is not allowed on Atkins. lol But I'm surviving without it. Dd made darn cc cookies today, I'm having a hard time staying away.

Art time is evolving a bit, we'll see what comes of it. Talk to you soon!

P.S. Love this painting, and the colors.

Sharmon Davidson said...

hi Patti! you don't have to wonder- I love the collage! Wonder is an interesting word to consider, though- and I do agree that its best not to be too attached to a particular outcome when it comes to things we don't control. Accepting what comes, without judgment- there's a word for this in Buddhism, which I can't think of at the moment. It does, indeed, take a lot of practice.

B.Held said...

A beautiful post. I love the line: "I still struggle so to find my own authentic voice that is screaming rather loudly . . . ."

I can relate to that in so many ways ;-)

alteredbits said...

you are such an amazingly wise and inspirational woman! i love this post and all that you have shared with us. i adore the artwork as well -- the colors are utterly gorgeous! i recognize her dress and would feel very honored to feature this piece in the AB gallery with your permission.

thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful post.

xx

Tani said...

Aha, you've tapped something here, Patti...and caused me to let out some breath I was holding due to hope for a family member, and change it to a wonder...somehow less grasping, less projection of me into the picture. Lovely work, Patti. xo

Davielle aka Princess Magpie said...

Patti, I do believe you have FOUND your voice, dear girl. Your art is profound; your writing speaks volumes (as does your art - each could stand alone, but TOGETHER, they are POWERFUL stuff). this is my first visit to your site and I am hooked. :-) NOW a follower! I love this ... "Wonder". And now, you do not have to wonder any longer about how your work is being received. GLOWINGLY, I would say. Thank you ... Davielle

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